Stop Making Excuses, Make Choices Instead
Isn’t it time to stop making excuses about why you aren’t working for yourself?
How long have you been thinking about working for yourself?
Months? Years? Longer than you care to remember?
Ever wonder why you haven’t done it by now?
I have a theory.
It’s because of your Excuse Monster!
Beware of Your Excuse Monster
What on earth am I talking about?!
We all have one, even YOU!
It’s that often judgy, yet sometimes scared voice in your head.
It’s always telling you stories about why you can’t do something or suggests fun distractions to get you to procrastinate.
It’s very convincing!
It says stuff like . . .
Who do you think you are to start a business?
Is your boss really that toxic or are you just being too sensitive?
Have an extra glass of wine, you deserve it.
You can do it tomorrow.
Why not watch one more episode? Your night is already shot.
It’s not perfect enough, don’t share it just yet.
Do you hear what he did now? Why aren’t you outraged? You really should be outraged!!
Finding the answer to that is too hard, so why bother?
I wonder what your ex is up to now. Go check Instagram.
You’re too busy with your job and the kids. You don’t have time to think about starting a business.
We’re in the middle of a pandemic for heaven’s sake and you want to start a business?
Your mom and dad don’t get why you want to do this, so don’t disappoint them.
You just got an invitation to a pity party! Let’s go!
What does your Excuse Monster tell you?
Why We Make Excuses
Making excuses has been such a natural rhythm in all of our lives, it’s like breaking an addiction!
We do it way more than we care to admit!
We make excuses to protect ourselves from our fears.
We make excuses to avoid exploring the boundaries of our comfort zone.
We make excuses to justify when we don’t commit to what we said we were going to do.
We make excuses to avoid learning more about ourselves that might make us feel uncomfortable.
We make excuses, so we don’t have to test our assumptions.
I’m guilty too! I’ve made oceans of excuses throughout every single aspect of my life! Ugh! Don’t even get me started!!
I even made excuses for five years about why I couldn’t work for myself even though I was already doing it!!
Ever think about why you make excuses?
What do you make excuses about?
Isn’t making excuses exhausting?
What excuses are you making right now that are preventing you from living the life you really want to live?
You know what making excuses did for me?
It wasted my energy.
It fed my fears.
It denied me valuable and life-changing lessons.
It prevented me from listening to my true self.
It made me avoid tough choices that needed to be made.
How are making excuses hurting you?
Stop Making Excuses, Make Choices Instead
You know what I do now instead of making excuses?
I make choices in alignment with my values, needs and abilities.
Making choices enables me to live life intentionally.
Making excuses keeps me stuck doing what others expect of me or allowing my fears to rule over me.
My brain still tempts me to make excuses, but I now use those potential excuses as a self-awareness exercise to help me learn about myself.
Excuses are now my “teachers”.
They make me realize I have a tough choice I don’t want to make.
They make me realize I’m not being honest or realistic with myself.
They make me realize I need to slow down and gather more information, so I can make an informed choice instead of avoiding an uncomfortable decision in the guise of an excuse.
No Excuse Shame Spiral
When we make excuses, we’ve been taught to feel ashamed.
That’s not right!
We already feel unworthy. The burden of making another excuse puts us into a shame spiral.
Naming the part of your brain that makes excuses stops that shame spiral.
When you recognize your Excuse Monster, you are giving yourself a choice. Previously, maybe you didn’t believe you had a choice.
The next time your Excuse Monster rears its ugly head, stop and identify your choices and the consequences of those choices.
Choice A: Give an excuse about why you can’t or don’t want to do the thing you say you want. Stay stuck.
Choice B: Take action on the thing you say you want, even if it might scare you, to see what happens as a result of doing it. Move forward.
When you take on your Excuse Monster, you allow yourself to explore, learn and grow.
When you give into your Excuse Monster, you hide, abandon an opportunity to learn and stay stuck.
Unfortunately, you can no longer deny the existence of your Excuse Monster.
Stop giving it your limited and valuable attention and energy.
Choose to give that attention and energy to creating work that works for you instead.
Rule yourself, don’t be ruled by your Excuse Monster!
Call Out Your Excuse Monster
One of the very first challenges we ask our new Community of Practice members to try is not to make any excuses.
None. Zero. Absolutely no excuses!
Why? Because nothing will stunt your growth like making excuses!
They deny you the opportunity to explore to figure out what you really want.
Challenge #1 Recognize When You Make Excuses
Over the next week, try bringing awareness to each and every time you feel like you are making an excuse.
Don’t beat yourself up for making excuses, just start being aware of what triggers you to make them.
Then try making a choice on your terms, instead of making an excuse. More often than not, it’s a liberating feeling!
Exercise #2 Call It Your Excuse Monster
Let me introduce you to your Excuse Monster.
Ready? Because once you see it, you can’t unsee it!
Ask yourself this question, “How badly do I really want to work for myself?”
Then ask, “What on earth is preventing me from doing it?”
Those two questions should be enough to poke your Excuse Monster out from hiding!
Start making a list of all the reasons why you aren’t working for yourself right now and the common excuses you’ve made preventing you from figuring it out.
That’s your Excuse Monster’s voice!!
Do you face obstacles preventing you from work for yourself? Sure, but are you making excuses preventing from taking on those obstacles?
Exercise #3 Take Action Instead of Making an Excuse
Over the next week, take two actions you’ve been afraid to take in terms of starting your business.
Basically, I’m asking you to taunt your Excuse Monster, so you are forced to face it!
When you take action, I want you to show yourself that you can take on your Excuse Monster and slay it!
Beware of how often your Excuse Monster pops up over the next week!
Stop giving your power away to excuses!
What excuse are you making right now about why you can’t design work on your terms?
Consider joining one of our Communities of Practice to get support and accountability for creating work that works for you!